Do You Know Who You Really Are?

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Do you really know yourself?

It is becoming more and more apparent that so many of us in today’s society are struggling with who we really are. Many of us are loosing ourselves after having children and then again once we hit a certain age……this is definitely true for myself. My husband has also struggled with this in recent times.

I am very happy to say that I am now 100% confident in knowing who I am, having gone back to look at who I was before parenthood, my likes, dislikes etc, plus I’ve been trying some new activities and interests. Change is always happening around us and we also need to embrace changes within us as we grow as individuals and our lives change due to age and circumstance.

Knowing yourself means that you know what path is right for you. You no longer seek approval or permission from others. You are confident to stand alone and be your true-self no matter what outside influences are trying to tell you.

This path is so often blocked by Limiting beliefs that knock confidence and self-belief. The journey to self discovery can be a long, lonely and sometimes difficult road, but once you have completed the journey it feels so worth while. I felt that I lost myself even further when I first started. I doubted who I had ever been, as some of my past interests just didn’t work for me anymore. I felt numb through some parts of the journey, mainly due to my limiting beliefs. Some of which I was already aware of and others that I had to delve really deep within myself to discover and deal with.

Finding YOU is a massive change for most of us, but it’s the best change you will ever make!

You will know where you fit and where you are meant to be going…..now, who doesn’t want that for themselves?

Below are a few ways that I took to figure out where I am going and who I truly AM:

  1. Firstly, simply write down what your life values are – we all have them, but very rarely sit down and notice what they are. knowing are values is fundamental to a happier and more fulfilled life.
  2. Ask yourself this question – WHO AM I? write down who you are now in this moment. This will be hard at first.
  3. Write down your FEARS? be completely honest with yourself. Your fears are strongly connected to your ‘limiting belief system’ and this is what’s holding you back from making the necessary changes.
  4. Think about and write down any outside influences. Are the goals that you’ve been setting yourself really YOURS, or do they belong to family, friends or fellow colleagues!
  5. Who do you spend the majority of your time with? It is said that ‘you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with’. Are you mixing in the right circles where people are lifting you up, OR are you being drained by other people’s negative energy?

This exercise can trigger some big changes, don’t be scared of making them, you owe it to yourself to be your best YOU and llimiting beliefsive a happier and more fulfilled life as the REAL you. You’re only on this earth once, so make it count.

If you’d like to delve deeper and are not sure if you want to do this alone, then please feel free to contact me here for a FREE discovery call.

 

What is it you REALLY want?

What is it you REALLY want?

I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid it was drummed into me that ‘I WANT gets nothing’. Now, I understand the logic in this statement and fully appreciate it’s meaning in terms of its politeness or lack of as some people might think.

BUT……

What is wrong with wanting????

I want gets nothing is a statement that has stayed with me through my adult life, to the point that I have been drumming it into my own kids…..

Well not anymore!!

 

I will expect my kids to still use the word please, as I am big on manners. They have served me well through life and I think they are important for our kids to learn, but I will no longer be correcting their use of the words I want.

I have been doing a lot of personal development and looking inside myself lately and strongly believe that not being allowed to WANT as a child has held me back in going after the things I really want as an adult.

I have had a limiting belief as to what I can achieve and what I can do and should be able to have. I haven’t felt as deserving as perhaps I should. I have been lucky enough to recognise this limiting belief and put things in place to lift it. I am now working on my money blocks. I will be writing about this next, so look out for that!

 

I don’t want that for my kids. They are both strong willed and know what they want. Yes, there is something to be said for not getting everything you want, and my kids certainly don’t, but the word ‘I WANT’ is a powerful word and one that I feel shouldn’t be discouraged.

From here on in my kids will be allowed to express the things they want. I will, of course, be making sure that they value what they already have so that they want the right things in life. To value and be grateful for what you have allows you to look at your life and see what’s important right now and be able to see what it is you really want. I’m not talking material possessions, like toys, games, gadgets and clothes. I’m talking about the big things in life. Our vision of how our life could be, what career we truly aspire to have and how we see our lives and our kids lives 10 years from now.

I was speaking to a friend only this morning about what it is she really wants. To begin with she thought it was a bigger house with a bigger kitchen. When I asked her why she wanted this she realised that she wanted it for all the wrong reasons. In fact, she didn’t want it at all. She thought it would make her happy. When I asked her “Are you happy now?” she replied “yes”. She was going to give up her home, her life, her friends and being near her family for a house further away….and all because it was bigger. She realised that it wasn’t her that wanted the house, it was today’s society that had given her the idea that this is what she should have.

We are all different, but in this day and age we are all so caught up in what other people are doing, what is socially acceptable, what the ‘celebs’ are doing and what the media tells us, that we have lost who we are as individuals and what we really want for ourselves. We’re being brainwashed in to always wanting what other people have, instead of looking inside ourselves and feeling and believing in what is right for us.

People have lost the ability to believe that they can have the career they WANT and the life they WANT, as they are too busy comparing their life to other people’s.

So, I ask you – What do YOU WANT?

I’ll tell you what I want– I WANT to be successful, be able to support my family and friends when they need it and give my kids a good start in life and the tools they need to grow into successful, kind and supportive adults.

My next blog will be on money blocks so look out for it!

If you’d like to know more about how I’ve worked on my limiting beliefs and money blocks, then get in touch at faye@fayepa.co.uk

Why You Should Be Networking And How To Overcome Your Fear

I’m sitting in the bar of a hotel in Chatham while I write this. I’ve come straight from the school run, so I’m nearly two hours early. I thought I’d use this time to write about networking, and hopefully ease the anxieties that some people have.

It’s guaranteed that, as a small business owner, you have toyed with the idea of face-to-face networking. Most of you will have started networking online. Most of us feel this is easier as we can hide behind our phone/laptop or PC, it’s predominantly free and it doesn’t take us away from our office and comfort zone.

When I set up my business, for the first three months, I did exactly as mentioned above. With minimal success. I was lucky in that I got my first two clients with relative ease, but after that things got a bit more tricky. I turned to online networking, and was surprised how time consuming it is.

I researched Facebook groups to join and engage in. This is a great way of building relationships and trust, if you can help and advise other members. I have a few potential clients who I met this way.

Another useful way to network online is through forums, where your audience or even influencers ‘hang out’. Good relationships can be built the same as in Facebook groups.

BUT…

In my opinion, no amount of online networking can replace or be as successful as meeting, talking and connecting with people face-to-face.

Even in this time of all things digital. ‘People still buy people’. At the risk of separating men and women in business, they have always and will forevermore do business differently.

 

In my experience, men tend to meet once, have a straight-talking discussion about what they need and what they offer. They may then, have a follow-up phone call and ‘bam’ they’re working together.

Us ladies, well, we like to get to know somebody first. We like to meet, chat, meet, chat, maybe meet again, chat on the phone, and then, with a much softer ‘bam’, we’re working together.

So, coming back to face-to-face networking. Meeting people, building a solid relationship and connection is valuable to your business.

I know what some of you are thinking… ‘I’m not very good at talking about myself’, ‘I don’t want to go on my own’. Well, I’ve got news for you. EVERYONE feels like that at first. I booked my first networking event, I prepared for it, both mentally and in terms of making sure I had ample business cards etc. to take with me. I told a few people I was going, how nervous I was, but how I knew it was essential for my business.

The big day came. I got up, took the kids to school, got in the car, put the satnav on, and… chickened out and went home. Creating several reasons to justify to myself why I couldn’t do it!

For the rest of the day, I was kicking myself. How could a relatively intelligent, outgoing, forty-one-year-old woman, be too afraid to be in a room full of other people whose reason for being there was the same as mine?

I’m sure some of you reading this are chuckling as you too have done something similar.

A week later and after having a stern word with myself, I decided to book myself onto another event. Throwing myself in at the deep end, as this was a big Kent based event. Having done the same as before, preparing and telling a few people, the day arrived. This time though, I actually went. I’m a big gun now. A serious businesswoman.

I CAN DO THIS!

 

The event was very useful. The speakers taught me a lot. Nervous as anything though, I kept myself to myself. Spoke to a few exhibitors and went home. Not a complete waste of time, but not how I had envisaged.

After this, I decided to take things a bit slower and I booked onto a smaller event. You know the drill now. Prepare…told people…went…AND…Amazing.  This was my kind of networking event, less people, more intimate, yet more than enough people to make it a great success. That day, I met some lovely people, started building a relationship with some of them, and now I am working with one of the amazing ladies I chatted to there.

That day, I realised that smaller events were the ones for me. Different personalities suit different environments and I had found mine.

Since then, I have been to several different events and joined two networking groups that I regularly attend. So now, when I go to an event, I always know at least a few people in the room. Now though, I look forward to meeting the people I don’t yet know.

Networking is a must for your business, whether it be a six-monthly thing, a monthly thing or even weekly. Some people become serial networkers as they love being around people and they thrive off the buzz of it all.

So, get out there and meet some inspirational people who will either influence you or who you may influence.

YOU CAN DO IT!!

If you have any questions about networking or any of the services I provide, please feel free to contact me on faye@fayepa.co.uk.

What Has Happened To Customer Service?

Recently, I have been exposed to both excellent and absolutely appalling customer service. The latter having happened only yesterday.

It made me ask myself “what has happened to customer service in this country?”

Now I can only really speak for the UK but it was made more apparent when I received excellent service in Florida, only a few weeks ago.

I’ll start with the ‘poor’ experience, as I always like to end on a positive note…

…so, yesterday I made a phone call to my local hospital to discuss an appointment that I had cancelled, only to be told that I hadn’t cancelled it, but just hadn’t turned up…this in itself was not a great start.

The lady on the other end of the phone was very abrupt and accusing when speaking to me. She had no intention of listening to what I had to say. She assumed I had not shown up and wasn’t prepared to be convinced otherwise. As you can imagine, this did not impress me.

After constantly being interrupted, I asked her to let me speak. She was not very happy to be told to basically “shut up” in a polite manner.

On finally being able to explain and tell her that I had indeed cancelled the appointment through the reminder text I had received from the NHS. The text gives you a cancellation number to call and a reference number.

What came out of her mouth next just got my back up even more. Rather than apologise, or suggest that the message hadn’t reached her or her colleague…she proceeded to tell me that she had no idea what messaging service I was talking about or what number I rang.

Already riled, I asked why a message service was being used if no-one knew about it and how it was possible for a number and reference to be given which was (according to her) unrelated to the department in question.

And this is my biggest issue with customer service today. I don’t want you to pass the buck, I don’t want to hear excuses. I want a solution; I’m after a reasonable explanation and to be told that something will be sorted…maybe it’s me, after all, I do have high standards when it comes to this sort of thing. I am a customer service ‘snob’.

This takes me to the positive. The excellent customer service I received whilst on holiday in Florida.

Everywhere my family and I went, we were amazed at how good the service was. From waiters, guides, retail staff, car park staff. You name them, they were happy to help.

No problem was too big or too small for them to deal with. From the minute we arrived at the airport to the minute we got on the plane home, we were made to feel like we were human beings being dealt with by other human beings. It all leads to me to wonder why this country struggles so much to care about the experiences they provide others. Why have we become so miserable and so self-absorbed that we no longer give a damn about our work, or the impression we leave people with ourselves?

When did customer service not care for anything?

Why did ‘money’ become the be all and end all?

If you think you would like to have a chat about what I can do for you then please call me on 07968 381793 or faye@fayepa.co.uk. I also have a Facebook page and Twitter account.

Is This a Hobby or a Business?

Is this a hobby or a business?

  1. Are you just playing with your time?
  2. Are you serious about what you do?
  3. Do you wish you could be doing this and this alone?

You need to answer these three questions 100% honestly and then take a look at where you’d like to see yourself 12 / 18 or even 24 months from now.

If you can see yourself taking hold of what you have and wanting to make real money out of it then ‘congratulations’ you have or should I say you are on your way to having a serious business.

Sharon is my next-door neighbour and when I said I was setting up my Virtual PA Business, she half-jokingly said ‘brilliant, I may be needing you!’ Sharon is a Holistic Therapist specialising in Reiki. She had another job and had been practising her therapies for many years on the side.

 

It took a month or so, but we eventually sat down and had a chat where she’d like to be in a year’s time and what she ACTUALLY enjoys doing for work.

Sharon had some old vouchers, website and business postcards, which I must say were very out-dated.  I took a good look, told her they weren’t going to work as they weren’t eye-catching, didn’t reflect who she was and didn’t contain the right information. She looked a little shocked by my honesty, but I believe that if you’re serious about helping people, you have to be honest from the start.

It was at that point that I asked her ‘IS THIS A HOBBY OR A BUSINESS?’

She looked at me blankly and then finally said ‘she hadn’t thought about it like that’, but now I’m asking, she’d honestly like it to be her business and would like to give up her other job.

 

We then discussed what she needed to do to transform her 20+ year hobby into a serious business. Being the kind, generous and caring person that she is, Sharon was giving far too much of her time away for ‘FREE’.

Treatments were lasting for longer than the allotted hour. Her initial consultations, which are very detailed, were being done for free! If she wanted this to be a business, she really needed to change her mindset.

Sharon sends all her clients a birthday card. She’s not giving this up and I agree. What makes Sharon unique, is her genuine warmth and care for people. The birthday cards allow for her clients to see this.

We then set about re-designing her business cards. We set up a simple WordPress website, and we designed a new flyer, Facebook page and LinkedIn profile.

This initial meeting left Sharon feeling very positive, inspired and ready to take Sharon Weekes Holistic Therapy out to the world.

 

We set up some processes and organised her office so that she felt more in control of the admin side of her business too.

When we first met, Sharon lacked confidence in talking about what she does and putting herself out there to gain new business.

With me behind her every step of the way, she has grown massively. Her self-confidence is getting better all the time, and she now even picks up the phone and promotes her business to her target audience and groups of people she thinks could benefit from her treatments.

I am very proud of how far she has come, and I have every faith in her and her ability to build a thriving business that she loves.

So, think back to those three questions I asked! Could this be you? Does Sharon’s story sound familiar?

If you think you would like to have a chat about what I can do for you then please call me on 07968 381793 or visit my website www.fayepa.co.uk. I also have a Facebook page and Twitter account.